Day 6 of Life Outside the Womb-Liam

Today is Saturday. When I came in this morning they said I could breastfeed!! YAY! He latched on really well and he eats for about 20 minutes each time. He is still under the lights but they are letting me take him out to feed of course so it is much better than it was. I still miss him and I never want to put him back when the feeding is over. He is so cute and we can see so much more of his face now when we get to take him out for feedings. He looks somewhat like Jude but I think he maybe looks more like me than Jude did when he was born. He seems to have a really good disposition at the moment. He opens his eyes so wide and looks around whenever we take the bili mask off of him. That must be why he always tries to rip it off in the isolet. He is still passing meconium which means he must have just been full of it when he was born because it is usually gone by now. He is eating every 3 hours as of now but the nurse practitioner said I could start feeding on demand. They are weaning him off of the TPN and it should be stopped by tonight. He has been maintaining his temperature good so far but the real test will be when he goes to an open crib. He still has to get 3 more doses of antibiotics tomorrow. They gave me a nesting room so that I could be here for all of the feedings. I was actually able to sleep which I wasn't really with Jude so that has been nice. It is great being right here at the hospital. I do miss Jude a ton though so I can't wait to go back home so that I can be with both of my boys.

Day 5 of Life Outside the Womb-Liam

Today is Friday. Liam is now on a regular nasal cannula and he is doing well. They are letting me bottle feed still and the plan is to start breastfeeding tomorrow. I can't wait for that because I know it would make him so much happier. His bili is down to 11 today so they are going to keep him on the lights but they say it shouldn't be much longer. We have the same great nurse today so that is reassuring. Liam seems more comfortable than before. I am usually here just about all day except for the 3 am feeding. It is hard to not be here all the time but it has been about 50 below here so getting up and driving at 3:30 am didn't seem like an option. I can't wait until I am breastfeeding and can maybe nest here like I did with Jude. We shall see when that happens. He is still getting antibiotics so his little butt is so raw. He has two more days of antibiotics so that means we will be here until atleast Sunday. Boo.

Day 4 of Life Outside the Womb-Liam Scott Wolter

He has a name!! It is Liam Scott Wolter. Scott is Jeremy and his father's middle name. I think it has a nice ring to it. ;) He definitely looks like a Liam. He has little round cheeks that are adorable! Today they are weaning him off of the nasal cannula onto room air. I happened to ask our nurse why he was still on antibiotics and she said the chart said he had pneumonia. Wow, seriously...no one told me this? Everyone knows I am in med school and that I want to know about everything...what the heck?! So, I asked to speak with the doctor of course and they explained that they couldn't figure out whether he had it or not so they were treating it anyways. His WBC was not elevated, no left shift, no lab signs of pneumonia. So, four days have gone by and no one thought to mention that to me. Crazy. Then, at night, the night nurse said there were findings on the abdominal x-ray that indicated he might have something wrong with his bowels. So, at 10:30 at night, I asked them to call the physician because that was the first I heard of that too. So, this really strengthened the bond between me and the medical staff for sure. ;) The doctor did call us and said nothing was wrong and he basically didn't know what she was talking about. Needless to say, I began reading the chart myself from that point on. And, I asked 1 million questions everyday since apparently that is the only way I will find out what is going on. AHHHH! So frustrating. I do love our nurse today though, she seems to be a real advocate for Liam. She got him a stronger bili light, began weaning him off the nasal cannula, and was very supportive of feeding him. He has a diaper rash from all of the antibiotics he is getting and she ordered him some special cream. She seems really great. She took care of Jude for a day or two as well. Liam's bili is down a little but he is still under the lights. He is a lot more active at night and is more hungry at night. Hopefully we can get that switched around once he is home. He makes the sweetest little faces. He loves his pacifier too.

Day 3 of Life Outside the Womb-Baby Wolter #2

Today is Wednesday. Baby Wolter #2 is doing better. He is on the high flow nasal cannula now. They weaned him off the CPAP but then had to put him back on the CPAP but he is now finally off of it for good. His O2 sats were always fine, they just said he was breathing too fast. He is really happy to get that huge CPAP machine off of him. His bili is up to 12.5 today so he is still under the lights. He doesn't like his mask for that either but he is less bothered by that than the CPAP. He is getting TPN now and they are letting me start bottle feeding him breastmilk today. He is taking 5 cc's at a time and he is doing really well. You can tell he wants more though but they want to make sure he is digesting it well. They keep checking residuals in his belly and he isn't clearing the food as well as they would like so they are going to put an NG tube in. They had to feed him through that a couple of times but then he was digesting better. They think he just had a lot of stool in there so there wasn't any where for the food to go. Once they gave him a suppository, he was able to digest it much better.

Some of the tension between me and the staff here has seemed to dissipate. I am still not their favorite but they have seemed to loosen up a little bit. It is bad enough to have the stress of a baby in the NICU, let alone to have tension with the medical staff. They are really busy here though and the nurse basically said she thinks he is somewhat getting neglected because he is so stable. So, they are taking longer to wean him off the oxygen than she and I think they should be. It's only $1,000 a day so what's the rush, right?! It is so nice to be able to take him out and feed him and hold him. It is not the same as breastfeeding him directly of course but it is one step closer. His breathing is a lot more stable today which is great. His hemoglobin and hematocrit have come up so they think his bili should turn around tomorrow. You have to have some major patients to have a kid in the NICU because I feel like I just want to grab him and make a run for it. ;)

Day 2 of Life Outside the Womb-Baby Wolter #2

Today they put the baby onto a CPAP machine because they said he was breathing too fast. I came in the morning and found him on it and no one called me or anything even though they promised they would if anything changed. When I asked about that I basically got my head bitten off by the nurse practitioner so I realized I just needed to not ask her anymore questions. She told me I was lucky he wasn't re-intubated like he was close to being. She's the lucky one because I kept my mouth shut. ;) His bili went up a little bit to about 11 which was still in the normal range. He hated the CPAP on his face and was constantly pulling it off. He was distressed a lot and it was so hard to sit with him because they wouldn't let me hold him or feed him so I couldn't comfort him. There are so many babies in the NICU with him though that are smaller and sicker than he is though so I know I am blessed. They have taken so many x-rays of him I am just praying that all that radiation exposure doesn't have a lasting effect. They are still giving him antibiotics through a UVC (umbillical vein catheter). He likes his pacifier for a little while but you can tell he just wants to eat. I usually hang out here all day even though I was discharged from CRMC about 2 hours after delivery. So, I just bring stuff to do. They are saying they might let me feed him expressed breast milk from a bottle tomorrow. That would be nice since my child is basically eating his pacifier...sheesh. So, things are holding kind of steady right now. They say they are going to try to wean him off of the CPAP tonight and put him back on the high flow nasal cannula. I have learned not to trust what you hear in the NICU because things change so often so I don't attach any emotions to what I hear anymore. We are still trying to think of a name for the little guy. We are between Liam and Graham. I am thinking Liam right now...

Birth of Baby Wolter #2!!

Dr. Morales with Baby Wolter #2
Baby Wolter #2's first few moments

I am writing these a week later so I am going to try my hardest to remember everything that happened. So, Sunday night at around 7:30 pm, I started to have slight contractions that were 10 minutes apart. They continued to get stronger and closer together until they were about 2 minutes apart at around 10:00 pm. I was trying to convince myself that they were Braxton-Hicks contractions even though I was pretty sure they were not...especially according to everything I had read. So, finally at around 1 am on Monday, we decided to head to the hospital. We went to CRMC because I was exactly 35 weeks. Dr. Morales was not on call but he said he would come in to do the delivery. I was 4 cm when I arrived at CRMC and was contracting very regularly. My water was still intact though. I was put in the most amazing delivery room and I was able to be up and walking and even be off of the monitors for awhile. I also got to take a shower and a bath which was awesome! I was a lot more calm during labor this time, especially since I wasn't constrained to the bed. The last hour before pushing was rough because I kept telling the nurse that I had to push but she wouldn't let me and she was saying that since my contractions were right on top of each other, I needed to get narcotics or an epidural or I was going to have a c-section. I knew that wasn't true so I just kept saying no and asking her to check my dilation. She finally called Dr. Morales and he said to give me terbutaline because the nurse told him I was only 6 cm...which I was an hour ago. Finally, she listened to me and checked me and I was 100% effaced and 10 cm dilated. So, Dr. Morales came in and broke my water and I pushed for less than 10 minutes and Baby Wolter #2 was here! My water broke all over Dr. Morales so he was probably wishing he didn't come in for my birth. ;) They laid the baby on my belly right away and I got to hold him but then the nurses weren't stimulating him and I wasn't thinking straight so he stopped crying and they had to take him to the warmer. That was the beginning of the end....from there, he went to the nursery and within 2 hours he was intubated. His sats were fine, they just said he was breathing fast. So, he got one dose of survanta and then they extabated him and just put him on high flow. There was some serious drama during this time though because CRMC called TMH to get a NICU bed and TMH told them they didn't have any. I later talked to my nurse and she said that they always say they don't have any beds for CRMC patients but that they usually do, they are just in some sort of political battle. So, I called an OB at TMH to see if he could call the NICU and get me a bed and the NICU said they actually were just now discharging someone so they could take the baby. In the meantime, the CRMC doc had called Shands to come pick him up in the helicopter so they arrived at CRMC. They were extremely supportive though and wanted me and the baby to stay in town for our sake and they were fine with not taking him. TMH then denied having a bed though since Shands was already there and they said it was inappropriate to not go through with the transfer. Being the consumer...the one paying the bill and the one having to be separated from my family...I chose to continue asking TMH. They eventually unhappily agreed to take the baby. So, he got transfered to TMH. When I got to the NICU to see him, the first thing that happened was I walked in on two nurse practitioners talking negatively about me, very loudly. I walked in and told them I could hear them and they were very embarrassed and it was really awkward. From then on, I felt like they were all treating me differently. The doctor barely spoke to me, the nurse was somewhat cold. Most of the nurse practitioners were awesome though but I still felt weird because I knew they all thought of me as a monster. I also asked a lot of questions since I have done a rotation in the NICU and knew some things. I know they know a lot more than me but I still wanted to be told about everything they were doing to the baby. So, I am sure I am not their favorite parent to say the least. ;) But, we are very grateful that we are here and not in Gainesville. For the little bit that I thought I was going to Shands, I asked to be discharged from CRMC. My doctor allowed me to do that so from about 2 hours after delivery, I was no longer a patient. It was kind of nice to sleep in my own bed but it was hard to not have food brought to me and Tylenol and such. But, Dr. Morales did not let me tear so I didn't have any stitches. So, I really wasn't in too much pain. I was just having a lot of uterine contractions that were actually really painful. I didn't have really bad ones like that with Jude.

When the baby got here, he was put on high flow nasal cannula, antibiotics, IV fluids, and put under the bili lights because he was Coombs positive (I had transferred antigens against his blood type) so his red blood cells were breaking down. It was absolutely heart breaking to see him with all of the tubes and wires and tape stuck all over him. It doesn't matter how many times you go through this, it is still horrible. I watched the nurse at CRMC accidentally extubate him and I seriously wanted to freak out. They then had to put the tube back down which is not pleasant. I really can't explain how it feels to have your baby and then have him taken away from you. It is so unnatural and you can tell that he is unhappy. I just wanted to be able to hold him and comfort him but they wouldn't let me. It has been a tough first day that I thought I would not have to go through again. But, I know that it could be much worse so I just thank God for how long I did carry him and that he is healthy for the most part. I can't help but wonder whether what they did was neccessary. It is really frustrating to be at their mercy. Jeremy is extremely distrusting of the NICU now and I can't blame him. The whole reason CRMC delivers 35 weekers is because they are usually healthy. Why both of our sons have had to go to the NICU is beyond me. The neonatologists basically stereotype them and say, all 35 weekers have these problems but that is not true if you read the literature. So, we are very confused and frustrated. But, we are excited to have our little man here with us and we can't wait to take him home and do what most parents get to do at birth.

Baby Woltie #2 - 34 Weeks and 5 Days

Finally...a belly picture! Unfortunately, it is while I am in my bum clothes but let's face it, I spend about 50% of my life in them anyways so why should the picture show any different? This picture is when I was 30 weeks and now I am 34 weeks and 5 days. (I added the top picture later and it is when I was exactly 35 weeks...right before we headed to the hospital.) I should have another picture up shortly...I have been really bad about keeping up with it this pregnancy. We are getting professional maternity pictures done though in a couple of weeks...assuming I am still pregnant. ;) I have officially made it 4 days beyond what I did with Jude though so that is an accomplishment in itself. I can't imagine getting any bigger than this though...I don't know where anything is going to fit. I just got back to school last Monday and I am on my psych rotation. Things are going well, there's not too much standing in this rotation so it is a nice break. I will finish the rotation 3 days before the baby is due. I spent a couple weeks out of Christmas break preparing for Baby Woltie #2. I re-washed all of Jude's old clothes and we put up new shelves to keep everything in. I even packed my hospital bag! So, we are pretty much ready to go whenever he is ready. ;) I have an appointment with Dr. Morales on Monday. I am on the every 2 week appt schedule now which is nice. Last time I was there which was 4 weeks ago, Dr. Morales told me the baby is slightly above average at about 4 lbs. I am hoping that he slows down his extreme growth a little bit...sheesh. I just want to be able to push him out without any problems. I am so looking forward to the birth now that I have been through it once. We are still thinking of names...we have it somewhat narrowed down but it's not definite. Right now our favorite name is Liam. Let us know if you have any suggestions...