So here it is July of 2014 and I am just now updating this blog. Wow. If you would have told me I would be taking a year off of work and staying home full-time I would have told you I would blog every day! Twice a day! But, as you can see, that didn't happen. So, I have had several people ask me if I have a blog because if so, they want to read it. That sounds really arrogant that I would say that, right? Actually it's not because the truth is, these people want to read about that chaos that is my life so that they can secretly not feel so bad about their own. Well, if I can help someone sleep at night then I guess I should.
Speaking of sleep, want to know what I think about every time my head hits the pillow? Well, besides the continual underlying anxiety about whether or not Ollie will sleep through the night (which he has been doing quite well for the past week...cred where creds due), I think about all the things I did wrong throughout the day and how I am slowly ruining my boys' lives by my incompetence as a mother. Wow...this blog just got real, right? Unfortunately it's true. I go over every mistake I made and pray that it doesn't cause some sort of permanent scar on my children's psyche and that they don't do some crazy rebellious thing later in life because I lost my cool when they jumped on the couch for the 14th time. I get so mad at myself for not being a better mom since the whole time I was in medical school and residency, all I ever wanted was to stay home with my boys. I have what I've always wanted and I still screw it up. How is that possible? Well, after I talk myself off the proverbial cliff, I pray that the next day will be different. That I won't yell, I won't get stressed, I won't spend time pinning fun things to do with my kids and will actually just do them, etc. That I will be fully engaged with them and that I will treat them with the respect and dignity they deserve. But, unfortunately, the next night I find myself thinking over my failures and mistakes once again.
For me, being a full-time mother has been the most challenging position I've held. My kids expose my flaws and inadequacies in a way that I never before experienced. It's not their fault of course, this just happens to be the one job where I can't pretend. I can't hide from my selfishness as a full-time mommy. It's always there, staring me in the face, and I constantly have to make a conscious decision to choose them over me. You would think that would just come naturally, right? Well maybe for some of you out there it does but if so, please keep your selfless little mouth shut because I don't want to know. Like my pastor said, "having four boys is a lot of dying to yourself". Well said Pastor, well said.
But here's the good part of the story. The beauty in all of this is that every day I wake up and embrace another day. Every morning as I swing my legs over and my feet hit the floor I make a choice to keep trying. Though I will fail, inevitably, I will give it my best shot. I will continue to try and be better. Thank God I am not alone in this. It is really and truly by God's grace alone that I am able to keep going and He is the only hope I have of getting this thing halfway right. In the midst of everything being stripped away I rejoice in knowing that His grace is enough. Here's to a night when I can laugh at my mistakes and fully trust that He is in control. I promise the next post will be a little less intense and a little more about cute babies. ;)
Friday, July 25, 2014
Saturday, February 16, 2013
So, for those of you that actually still read our blog....we posted the below announcement! To be fair, we haven't posted in over a year so I'm pretty sure that would be no one. So, we will be mailing this little diddy out as well. This has been a wonderful year but it has gone by really fast!! Residency definitely keeps me on my toes. I will be graduating this summer though which is awesome. We will be moving right after that to Auburn, AL for Jeremy's new job! Somewhere right around there, we will be having another baby! We are really excited. I am so happy that I will finally be able to stay home with the baby for as long as I want to without having to worry about going back to work! What a blessing. Well, I will post some more pics of the boys soon. Thanks for all your love and support!
Photo Card
Cute Collage Boy Baby Announcements
Announcements for every life event: graduation, wedding & baby.
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Miles smiles...
So, I should probably be sleeping since my baby is sleeping but...I figured I better update you all on his progress and also document his progress since I still haven't officially purchased his baby book. Yeah, mother of the year right here. So, about Miles...
Miles is AMAZING!!! I am so in love with this little guy. He has been the easiest of the three and I cannot get enough of him. I seriously have to talk myself out of holding him every second of the day. Honestly, the best days are when we go out and about a lot because I get to keep him in the sling close to me all day!! He is such a good tempered baby...he only cries when he is hungry or when he is working on a tough BM. ;) He started sleeping 5-6 hours at a time 2 days ago. I remember being so relieved when Jude finally started sleeping through the night, but I honestly miss Miles when he sleeps for so long. Not that I didn't love Jude....I just went back to school when he was only two weeks old and he didn't sleep through the night until atleast 4 months so I was worn out by that time. I don't recommend the whole two week maternity leave thing...I was not a fun person to be around...I probably needed some Zoloft or something. Thank God for Jeremy!
Miles also started smiling!! This probably occurred at one month of age...of course I didn't write down the exact day even though I can picture it in my mind. I live for those smiles!! I will say the silliest things in the silliest tone of voice just to get those beautiful, day altering smiles. He has a little dimple right above his lip on the right that is adorable. Man, what a blessing he is. I also love to hear him coo. I have like 50 videos of him smiling and cooing. No one else would be able to watch them...not super exciting...but to me they are perfect. He is perfect!!
He is also attempting to roll over from his back to his stomach. I love watching him grow and develop every day. Such a blessing. He is grabbing my hands, kicking and moving his arms, tracking across the midline, responding to sounds, etc. I am going into such detail on his neurological development because of a concern that his pediatrician and I currently have. When he was born, I noticed that his anterior fontanelle was really small and that he had prominent sutures. I didn't mention it of course partially because I was exhausted and forgot and partially because I have a tendency to doubt my medical knowledge when I am around much more experienced pediatricians. So, I finally brought it up to the pediatrician this Monday at his two month appointment. She agreed with the above mentioned things and she has referred me to Dr. Ruiz who is a Craniomaxillofacial surgeon. We have yet to get our appointment with Dr. Ruiz. I really hope that we can get in soon so that I know what the next step is. I want to believe that everything is ok but if I examined someone else's baby with his physical findings, I would obtain some imaging, to say the least. So, I am just hoping and praying that everything will be ok. He is such a light in my world...I really can't imagine my days without him so let's hope I never have to find out what that would look like. So, now I guess you can understand why I celebrate every little thing he does that shows he is "normal" and progressing so well developmentally. I pray that continues. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers while we are waiting to see what, if anything, is wrong.
In the meantime, I am enjoying every moment spent with my boys. Jude has been somewhat challenging in the sleep department. He just has a really hard time falling asleep. We are going to subscribe to hulu plus in order to watch some super nanny. ;) I need some serious help with my parenting skills on this one. Jude is so smart and is just getting so big. He is so fun to be around...although he is a little chatter box. I started a preschool curriculum with Jude and Liam today. Donna (from Tallahassee) will be coming to nanny for us during the weekdays and she will continue with the curriculum. We are all really excited and thankful to have her nanny for us. It is going to be such a huge help. Jude needs a structured learning curriculum for sure. He is so inquisitive and he really does understand things beyond his years. He is going to do something big one day!
Liam is such a doll. He is just a sweet little innocent darling. I love to just hold him and hug him. He is at the age now where he doesn't really appreciate the snuggles but I steal them every chance I can. ;) He just has such a gentle spirit about him. His little eyes are like the window to his soul...they just melt my heart. He is such a smart boy too. He is more of a loner than Jude. Jude is a social butterfly and loves spending time with friends and family. Liam is content to play by himself, on the other hand. It's so interesting how they are so different.
Oh, and P.S., we moved to Winter Park (near Orlando). The move was really tough on me...worse than I thought it would be. Gainesville is by far my favorite city to live in...it just has a charm about it and also a good dose of granola which is what I most identify with. Speaking of granola, I am really jonesing for the The Top. I think that's my most favorite restaurant ever. I would love to end up back in Gainesville at some point, but for now, I am trying to fully embrace Orlando and really build some relationships here. We found a church that we really like that meets at the YMCA just down the road. The people seem super genuine and there are a lot of young couples with young children. I have been praying for some friends with young kids so that our kids can make friends and so that we can share parenting tips with each other. So, I am really thankful that we found a church so soon that we identify so well with. We have a rental house that is slowly becoming our home. I have been struggling with trying to get settled in while still spending good quality time with the boys. It is coming along but we still have a long way to go. I took the plunge and painted our dining room teal...my favorite color. I'm not gonna lie, it looks pretty stinkin' awesome. It makes me happy. It's amazing how much painting a room can do. Oh, and we have discovered IKEA. I could go there every day I think. They have such awesome ideas and such great prices!! I am already trying to figure out when I can moonlight to buy a new couch. ;) I just love, love their stuff! Oh, and the other great discovery has been Cheesecake Factory. First of all, it's delicious. Second of all, one dinner could feed a small army. I am not a light eater...I can take some food down but Jeremy and I are able to share a meal and bring home leftovers easily. I love sitting in their outside area with the candlelight...such a great romantic evening without spending a ton of money. Another great thing has been being so close to my parents and brother and sister. I have been able to see them about once a week since we've moved here. The boys love going to Grandma and Grandpa's (Pa's) house. It's been so great being able to see them so much.
I unfortunately return to work Monday, the 26th. I say unfortunately because I am going to miss Miles so much. But, this maternity leave has given me a chance to really evaluate things and I know that I really love being a pediatrician. I still am constantly conflicted about whether or not I should be home with my kids while they are young and I know I will always struggle with whether or not I should be a stay-at-home mom, but I do know that I have been called to be a pediatrician. It's not easy leaving their little faces and I know that no one can replace their Mommy. I just pray that they know they are loved more than anything in the world and that they are my first priority. For some reason, the Lord wants me to take care of some of His other children as well. Since I know God has called me to be a pediatrician, I trust that He will see to it that my children are well taken care of when I am not present. He is faithful. I pray every day that in the process of taking care of other children, I am not neglecting my own. Residency has been so hard for me because of how much time I have had to spend away from my boys, but I am done with the toughest year and I know that the next two will go by quickly. I pray not too quickly though because right when I finish, Jude will be going into kindergarten!! Wow, they grow so fast.
Being a mom has been the greatest blessing and the biggest challenge. And, let's be honest, I've done some challenging things...like organic chemistry for instance. ;) I think stay-at-home moms are freaking awesome super women by the way. It takes a strong, faithful, patient, just all around amazing woman to do that job. I secretly (or not so secretly since it's in my blog) envy them and I sometimes question why that wasn't my calling. But, all I can do is the best I can with what I am given, right? So, here I am, putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
Well, sorry for the extremely long post but I had to catch up. I will post pictures soon...I know that's the main reason you all check this. ;)
Thank you all for keeping up with the Wolter Family and thank you for your prayers!! I truly believe our livelihood depends on them.
Love to all!!
Miles is AMAZING!!! I am so in love with this little guy. He has been the easiest of the three and I cannot get enough of him. I seriously have to talk myself out of holding him every second of the day. Honestly, the best days are when we go out and about a lot because I get to keep him in the sling close to me all day!! He is such a good tempered baby...he only cries when he is hungry or when he is working on a tough BM. ;) He started sleeping 5-6 hours at a time 2 days ago. I remember being so relieved when Jude finally started sleeping through the night, but I honestly miss Miles when he sleeps for so long. Not that I didn't love Jude....I just went back to school when he was only two weeks old and he didn't sleep through the night until atleast 4 months so I was worn out by that time. I don't recommend the whole two week maternity leave thing...I was not a fun person to be around...I probably needed some Zoloft or something. Thank God for Jeremy!
Miles also started smiling!! This probably occurred at one month of age...of course I didn't write down the exact day even though I can picture it in my mind. I live for those smiles!! I will say the silliest things in the silliest tone of voice just to get those beautiful, day altering smiles. He has a little dimple right above his lip on the right that is adorable. Man, what a blessing he is. I also love to hear him coo. I have like 50 videos of him smiling and cooing. No one else would be able to watch them...not super exciting...but to me they are perfect. He is perfect!!
He is also attempting to roll over from his back to his stomach. I love watching him grow and develop every day. Such a blessing. He is grabbing my hands, kicking and moving his arms, tracking across the midline, responding to sounds, etc. I am going into such detail on his neurological development because of a concern that his pediatrician and I currently have. When he was born, I noticed that his anterior fontanelle was really small and that he had prominent sutures. I didn't mention it of course partially because I was exhausted and forgot and partially because I have a tendency to doubt my medical knowledge when I am around much more experienced pediatricians. So, I finally brought it up to the pediatrician this Monday at his two month appointment. She agreed with the above mentioned things and she has referred me to Dr. Ruiz who is a Craniomaxillofacial surgeon. We have yet to get our appointment with Dr. Ruiz. I really hope that we can get in soon so that I know what the next step is. I want to believe that everything is ok but if I examined someone else's baby with his physical findings, I would obtain some imaging, to say the least. So, I am just hoping and praying that everything will be ok. He is such a light in my world...I really can't imagine my days without him so let's hope I never have to find out what that would look like. So, now I guess you can understand why I celebrate every little thing he does that shows he is "normal" and progressing so well developmentally. I pray that continues. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers while we are waiting to see what, if anything, is wrong.
In the meantime, I am enjoying every moment spent with my boys. Jude has been somewhat challenging in the sleep department. He just has a really hard time falling asleep. We are going to subscribe to hulu plus in order to watch some super nanny. ;) I need some serious help with my parenting skills on this one. Jude is so smart and is just getting so big. He is so fun to be around...although he is a little chatter box. I started a preschool curriculum with Jude and Liam today. Donna (from Tallahassee) will be coming to nanny for us during the weekdays and she will continue with the curriculum. We are all really excited and thankful to have her nanny for us. It is going to be such a huge help. Jude needs a structured learning curriculum for sure. He is so inquisitive and he really does understand things beyond his years. He is going to do something big one day!
Liam is such a doll. He is just a sweet little innocent darling. I love to just hold him and hug him. He is at the age now where he doesn't really appreciate the snuggles but I steal them every chance I can. ;) He just has such a gentle spirit about him. His little eyes are like the window to his soul...they just melt my heart. He is such a smart boy too. He is more of a loner than Jude. Jude is a social butterfly and loves spending time with friends and family. Liam is content to play by himself, on the other hand. It's so interesting how they are so different.
Oh, and P.S., we moved to Winter Park (near Orlando). The move was really tough on me...worse than I thought it would be. Gainesville is by far my favorite city to live in...it just has a charm about it and also a good dose of granola which is what I most identify with. Speaking of granola, I am really jonesing for the The Top. I think that's my most favorite restaurant ever. I would love to end up back in Gainesville at some point, but for now, I am trying to fully embrace Orlando and really build some relationships here. We found a church that we really like that meets at the YMCA just down the road. The people seem super genuine and there are a lot of young couples with young children. I have been praying for some friends with young kids so that our kids can make friends and so that we can share parenting tips with each other. So, I am really thankful that we found a church so soon that we identify so well with. We have a rental house that is slowly becoming our home. I have been struggling with trying to get settled in while still spending good quality time with the boys. It is coming along but we still have a long way to go. I took the plunge and painted our dining room teal...my favorite color. I'm not gonna lie, it looks pretty stinkin' awesome. It makes me happy. It's amazing how much painting a room can do. Oh, and we have discovered IKEA. I could go there every day I think. They have such awesome ideas and such great prices!! I am already trying to figure out when I can moonlight to buy a new couch. ;) I just love, love their stuff! Oh, and the other great discovery has been Cheesecake Factory. First of all, it's delicious. Second of all, one dinner could feed a small army. I am not a light eater...I can take some food down but Jeremy and I are able to share a meal and bring home leftovers easily. I love sitting in their outside area with the candlelight...such a great romantic evening without spending a ton of money. Another great thing has been being so close to my parents and brother and sister. I have been able to see them about once a week since we've moved here. The boys love going to Grandma and Grandpa's (Pa's) house. It's been so great being able to see them so much.
I unfortunately return to work Monday, the 26th. I say unfortunately because I am going to miss Miles so much. But, this maternity leave has given me a chance to really evaluate things and I know that I really love being a pediatrician. I still am constantly conflicted about whether or not I should be home with my kids while they are young and I know I will always struggle with whether or not I should be a stay-at-home mom, but I do know that I have been called to be a pediatrician. It's not easy leaving their little faces and I know that no one can replace their Mommy. I just pray that they know they are loved more than anything in the world and that they are my first priority. For some reason, the Lord wants me to take care of some of His other children as well. Since I know God has called me to be a pediatrician, I trust that He will see to it that my children are well taken care of when I am not present. He is faithful. I pray every day that in the process of taking care of other children, I am not neglecting my own. Residency has been so hard for me because of how much time I have had to spend away from my boys, but I am done with the toughest year and I know that the next two will go by quickly. I pray not too quickly though because right when I finish, Jude will be going into kindergarten!! Wow, they grow so fast.
Being a mom has been the greatest blessing and the biggest challenge. And, let's be honest, I've done some challenging things...like organic chemistry for instance. ;) I think stay-at-home moms are freaking awesome super women by the way. It takes a strong, faithful, patient, just all around amazing woman to do that job. I secretly (or not so secretly since it's in my blog) envy them and I sometimes question why that wasn't my calling. But, all I can do is the best I can with what I am given, right? So, here I am, putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
Well, sorry for the extremely long post but I had to catch up. I will post pictures soon...I know that's the main reason you all check this. ;)
Thank you all for keeping up with the Wolter Family and thank you for your prayers!! I truly believe our livelihood depends on them.
Love to all!!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Stationery card
Happy Baby Boy Birth Announcement
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Monday, August 1, 2011
It's another BOY!!
Baby Miles Rick Wolter was born on July 18th at 5:59 am. He weighed 8 lb 9 oz and was 21 inches long. Here are some pictures of the little guy. Birth story to come in the near future...
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